And it's the sad fact of reality. No matter what I do, it's always wrong. Your yelling affects me, but I try not to let it. I'm not perfect mom... I'm far from it. So please... stop. I'm sorry my memory fucking sucks. I feel as if the threads that are left holding me together are fraying. I just want to be happy god damnit. The sad thing is I WAS FUCKING HAPPY! And why is that? It's because you stopped yelling at me mom! That's when I went a week and three days without hurting myself! And since you started again, it's back to a regular habit. Fuck you mom. You're tearing me down and when I'm dead, you'll have nobody to blame but yourself. I'll even fucking tell you that.
This time, it hurt. I felt the relief wash over me but now, half an hour later, my thigh feels like it is burning. The pain hurts a lot. This aftermath is worth it though.
The only plus in my life right now seems to be music, friends and baseball. Music is always there for me. The new ATL music video came out and it is so hilarious. My friends are there for me, more than my family is, and baseball keeps me happier. Without these three things, I think I'd be dead by now.
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