I feel like I've fallen into a deep, black hole and I can't get out. It's killing me to stay happy when all I want to do is cry for hours. The sun can't even make me crack a smile. The thought of baseball tonight can't either. I have no reason to feel this way, so why do I?
I thought going out with a friend and her friends last night would be a surefire way to cheer me up but that was a no go. I felt alone. Like I was just tagging along like some unwanted little sister. I came home earlier than them and just laid down for hours.
Something else. I was reading something online and they suggested that whenever you wanted to.. cut yourself, you flick yourself with a rubber band instead. I've been wearing it on my wrist all day, and been snapping it once or twice every hour or so. Nobody's noticed.
Sometimes, I wish somebody would. And I could just get a hug. The other times? I hope it remains the way it is now-unknown
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