One, I really love the song If You Ever Come Back by The Script <3
Second, I've never gotten the urge like this before. To hurt myself. It's strange because it's like, 2 am but my thigh feels tingly? Almost like it is awaiting the pain? I don't understand. I'm not gonna give up on Day 9 though. I've done better. I will do better. I will heal. No more being weak and impulsive.
Okay, let's be realistic. When/if I do hurt myself again, I won't get down on myself and give up. Those random moods scare the shit outta me because.. I just lose feeling and don't care anymore. It doesn't matter if I gave myself 300 new scars or if I die tomorrow. Nothing matters in life in those moods and one day, I might go too far. It's.. scary thinking like that.
Anyway, time for me to go lie down with some music. I haven't written in a few days and it feels weird. This time, I promise to complete it and not give up on this like every other writing project I've tried.
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