I didn't want to wake up this morning. I don't ever want to be fully awake, and aware of everything. The slight amount of pain, makes a world of a difference, even for those 20 seconds or whatever. Then, back to regret and covering up.
This time, I can't. I've let too many people down in the past. I've been a horrible friend, and I want to change. The intention is there, but... something inside of me always makes me break. Everything just builds up and.. boom, back to square one.
Plus, it doesn't make sense when I say I want to stop, and that I want help, but I refuse to go to therapy or take medication.
I'm a fucked up person.
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